Why do most people want money? Are the reasons men and women want money different? And what are the common myths about money you should avoid believing? By the end of this blog series I’ll have answered those three questions and provide resources to help you on your journey to understand why money matters and how you can be better with it.
Today’s blog is about opening a conversation to help you think about why you want money. Knowing why you want something will help strengthen your goals and fire up your creativity of how to get there for you. I hope you walk away from this blog post knowing that whatever reason you want money is valid, and that you have a clearer picture on what those reasons are.
It was 5:19 am on a random spring morning when my dad walked into my room before school. I knew something was wrong because my dad is the best dad I could ask for, but he never got up with me this early unless I missed the bus.
I was a bit groggy. Oh my god, as I’m writing this I feel like I’m going to cry. I talk about this moment a lot but I don’t think I ever process it alone like this.
Anyways, he turned and he said to me “Before I say anything, your mom is safe.” I was 15 but I still remember the panic I felt when he said those words. Like a million little ants crawling under my skin.
“What?” I said while rubbing my eyes while still half asleep.
“Your mom’s house burned down last night,” he explained tenderly.
“Oh, ok.” I said. “I’m gonna go to school.”
The next few years after are somewhat of a blur to me, but the parts where I handled my emotions poorly are as clear as the cool glass of water I had this morning. My mom had always been the one who was good with money, but after our house burned down we struggled. We fought all the time, not always about money, but always about money, and I acted in ways I’m not proud of.
I forgive myself mostly, but sometimes I feel just like I did when I was 16 and in those moments I feel wracked with guilt and so ashamed. Like I’ll never be a good person and like I don’t deserve the good things that come to me.
I feel like I’m selfish and like I will never be enough to cancel out the way I acted as a kid, especially because the older I get the more I recognise and change the elements of myself that hold remnants of the insecure teenage girl who was insecure, estranged from her father for those two years, and disappointing herself so often it became who she was.
I’m obviously dancing around what I actually did. For those who know me closely, you know, for those who don’t, it’s just one of those things that is smarter for me to keep private.
As I grew older and found that forgiveness for myself, I began to read about the effects of scarcity on the mind. My mom was always saying that we were spending too much money. I was constantly stressed about it and worked a lot of part time jobs when possible, but found myself spending stupid amounts of money on coffees and takeaway food because I didn’t have the energy to plan.
I’ve grown since then. I’ve still got a lot of work to do and a lot of blind spots, but I will never stop trying to be a better person for my mother, for my father and for me. I’m not blaming the way I acted on money, those were my decisions, and when I experienced financial hardship again a year ago I realised how far I’d come.
I’ve written about what happened last year before, but I shouldn't have and therefore won’t again. Pretty much something happened that caused a significant financial strain on my family due to a problem behaviour of a family member.
Those months were hard. I wasn’t making enough on my graduate job to cover my expenses and I thanked God every day for my savings. To cut on costs I cycled 3-4 hours a day to get where I needed to be, which ruined my hormones and created stress in my body. I am proud of how I handled that tough time in my life because I didn’t return to old habits, but seriously, after that experience which ended up with me lowering living costs and getting a new job, I never want to be without money again.
I want money because I want security and the resources to make sure I’m the best person I can be. To me, that means being someone who takes care of themselves so they can give more than they take from this world. Someone with patience and grace under pressure who is still able to express anger in a healthy way, and last but not least, someone who treats others the way they want to be treated.
I’m getting there, but it’s difficult because I often feel I’m not allowed to want money, especially not the way men want money. Sure, I could get to the person I want to be without money, and some people never get there even with all the money in the world, but overall, money helps.
Why do you want money? Is it for security like me? Better sex? Access to better healthcare? A car? There are no wrong answers for you, and when thinking about it you probably thought to yourself that it’s a combination of reasons that are no one’s business except your own - unless you write a blog about it *cough cough* but who would do that lmao that’s wild.
But enough about us, why do most people want money? Are the reasons men and women want money different? And what are the common myths about money you should avoid believing? By the end of this blog series I’ll have answered those three questions and provide resources to help you on your journey to understand why money matters and how you can be better with it.
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