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5 Ways to Know It's Time to Give Up

Writer's picture: Laura GainorLaura Gainor

When I was 18, I met my soul sister, let’s call her Sarah. We met on freshers' night at the University of Surrey, where I went to university. For the next three years, we were inseparable. I wouldn’t have wanted to go through the things we went through together with anyone else. She pushed me academically, and she’s a large part of what made me who I am today, but we’re not friends anymore.


I remember things had been tough for a while, we were growing distant, and she was healing an eating disorder that I was relapsing into. We couldn’t talk anymore and I started to feel neglected. We tried to talk through it but one day I told her in the heat of the moment I didn’t want to be friends anymore. It was the right decision, but I didn’t have certainty of it at the time.


I remember a year or so later I felt down and asked her for a coffee. 


She said no and it hurt like a bitch.


With Sarah, I felt like I had given up on our friendship. I loved her, but I gave up. I’m going through a similar situation now. I just lost my best friend and right now I regret the decision. I wish it wasn’t happening, and all I want is for things to be okay, but they’re not.


Of course, this has led me down an internet rabbit hole, but I found five steps for when to quit that helped me, so I hope they help you too. You can find the full article here



Your quest to solve a problem takes over all other aspects of your life.

Working toward a worthwhile goal should be elating and exciting. Lack of excitement about achieving what you think you want probably means that you’ve become used to striving and never arriving. It’s “what you do,” and this routine doesn’t serve you.


Also, you may be justifying a painful situation in the name of psychological comfort. Fear of the unknown or of upsetting other people could be the true driver of your efforts because perceived safety and popularity are comforting.


What would your life be like if you stopped trying? Notice the first feeling that arrives when you ask this question. A feeling of freedom or exhilaration is a sign you are ready to give up.



You aren’t able to visualize a positive outcome.

If you continue working to achieve a goal and yet, it seems like an impossible dream to be successful, you’ll sabotage your own efforts.


In a quiet place, contemplate the realization of your goal in detail. Can you clearly picture the resolution of your problem? Can you see yourself succeeding and feeling good about your success? If not, it‘s a good idea to reassess your commitment to the goal.



You start to feel poorly about yourself.

Not being able to achieve your goal might result in self-doubt about your abilities. You might wonder whether there is something wrong with you.

In most cases, a job, relationship, or project that hurts your self-worth isn’t worth it.



You’re the only person who shows interest in solving the problem or reaching the goal, but the outcome also depends on other people.

This is particularly relevant in relationships.

If you are the only person who initiates contact with a friend or the only one who takes action to improve a relationship, it’s unlikely that the relationship will thrive or even survive.

Letting go of relationships in which you’re the only person invested will produce temporary pain, but once you’ve overcome the negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting people into your life.



When you wake up in the morning, your first thought is to give up.

You’re most attuned to your intuition when you first open your eyes after a night of rest, and your intuition always knows what is in your best interest.


The emotional pain I experienced when I chose to silence my inner voice wasn’t needed or worth it. Trust that your intuition is guiding you to the places you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.


Making the decision to give up might not be easy, but will open the door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences. Letting go will set you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion.


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Feb 10
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